Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Under vs. Grad: The Tale of Confusion

So I've been in the graduate life for a few weeks and have noticed many differences between being a graduate vs. being an undergraduate. Here are a few of the things I've noted:

The Less Fun Factor

Some of the greatest perks of being an undergrad is to basically get out of class and grab either a frisbee or a beer and have a good time. As I walk around campus, I notice all these kids having lots of fun while I'm running around trying to get work done before I have to go to night class. By the time I come home, I'm so tired and worthless that all I do is fall right to sleep, only to wake up and get work done before another night class. Where is the fun in that? Sure I can hit up the bars and get wasted and drink my problems away, but being a grad student means I have even less money to get drunk. Which leads to my next observation

The (Non) Hook Up Factor

One of the greatest accomplishments on a college guy's list to do is hook up with amazing hot chicks out of their league and too drunk to notice. Now I'm not one to be looking for this since I'm in a great relationship, but with that kind of pressure/fun out of the picture, it makes one to worry less about appearance. Even if you're in a relationship, you want to look good so girls don't go "aww man, another hobo got onto campus. Call security." The point is to look good incase you fuck up in the current relationship you are in. I have red hair, it's bound to happen, it's happened before. If in any case she decides to not take me back, you have to think about the reputation you've put forth on the people around you. You have to think about the "just incase" factor.

Also, since I am a grad student and work with athletes, I can not even hook up with the undergrad or I could face possible termination from the program (I've heard tales of people doing it and not even that well under the radar, but again, I have red hair, it's bound to blow up in my face if it happens). If you have ever gone through the process of getting your MBA, you will know that the creme of the crop of women are long gone. There are the occasional hotties, but those are the up tight one step away from being a lesbian feminist who is doing this to show the world that women can do it too. And then the rest are ugos and girls taken way long ago (I am generalizing, there are exceptions, but for hilarity/interest sake, lets make believe there are not exceptions). This leaves any possible post I'm an idiot and got dumped hook ups very minimal in this town. And if I've learned one thing from Superbad, it's that women you meet in bars are whores. Literal whores.

The Old Man Factor

Now I am only 22, but with my hair line and my gut (that has been sized down, but still serves as a good pillow) I look like I'm, say 30. The one thing that I have to do due to my Communications undergrad degree is take an undergrad accounting class so that I can take Managerial Accounting. This puts me in a class with freshman and sophomores. I see that anytime I am asked to answer a question, people turn around to my small desk in the back of the room (where else would the old guy sit) and get whispers of "why the hell is that old guy in the room. And why is he so sweaty?" This makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I have to plow through them. Again, I'm getting my MBA for free.

Those are a few things I've generally noticed. I jotted them down just now. I'm tired and have two legs screaming at me for running 4 miles after doing nothing but eating cake and drinking for the last two weeks. So I appologize for nothing (except to my girlfriend if she is reading this. You're the best).

Until next time,

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