Monday, November 19, 2007

The 3 Reasons Why I Would Crush Alicia Keys

Besides the obvious reason that Alicia Keys is one of the most beautiful people in the music industry, I thought I'd list down the reason why if given the opportunity, I would do crazy things to Alicia Keys.

1. She brings Sexy Back - Many of today's female artists fall under what I call the skank-dar. There are the Lohans, the ever crazy Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani is just straight up nasty (and I mean in the you look like a ho every time you're on tv), Ciara caries 90% of the world's disease in her sausage wallet and Rhiani is just a straight up wham job. You name it, and they are hos. But Keys brings it back time and time again in a very sexy way kind of way. And there are very few things I find sexy in the old fashioned-true sense of the word. Saxophones are sexy. Spooning is, at times, sexy. Alicia Keys is sexy. She could probably pull off farting being sexy. Typically today, when someone wants to write about making love or, as I like to call it sometimes, "slammin bitties", they just get straight to the point and tell the listen they want to skeet all over their clothes or seomthing. But Key's lyrics are just shining poetic genius. If you need an example, listen to Wreckless Love off her new album. That song not only makes her sexy, but it brings me to my next point...

2. She's got soul. I'm not talking about the "she's got soul cause she's part black" (more on that later) but she's got both that putting everything into each performance style while still keeping true to R&B, something that is lost in this dying genre. Many of her songs bring forth memories of Marvin Gaye and Aretha Franklin. She's one of the few that still keep the genre going, along with Jill Scott.

3. She's bi-racial - Yes, for some reason that is hot to me. There is no real reason for it except that it's exotic to me. And exotic is sexy (as long as it doesn't give me AIDS). Plus, she's part Irish. That means she carries the ever important "red head" gene somewhere in her DNA. That and her father is Jamacian. So if I were ever to somehow not only score with her, but plant the seed, I would possibly have a red headed son that does not have to wear spf 90.

Thats about it. Time for Sportscenter.


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