Friday, November 16, 2007

Sandy Thompson

So I was thinking the other day while reading my really old issue of Rolling Stone about Hunter S. Thompson that I Thompson, but with no cocaine problem and with sand in my vagina. Thompson did extactly what I want to do, but instead of being a coked out maniac, I want to be a rediculsously rich guy who does everything that people always dream about when they are rich. My goal in life is to become rich enough where at one point I just stop, unlike the money bags that keep fighting for more and more. I want to work non-sense jobs like the lumber section of Home Depot or at a langerie store. I just want to do things for about a week or until I'm bored and then move on. Each time I'll have a different name and it'll be interesting. I'm a terrible when you put me in front of the camera, but out in the open I can be anyone you want to be. Hi, I'm Scott Bibbles from Virigina.

In the Hunter Thompson way, I would totally just do things out of the ordinary, and if they bother people to the point where they sue me, then go ahead. Again, I have tons of money. In my American History class a few years ago, our hippie professor told a story where at one point (or at all points) Thompson had a lawyer with him at all times because of the shit he did. One time on the way to a dinner with someone important he stopped at a navy shop and got a super loud air horn and in the middle of dinner, just set it off, breaking glasses and what not.

That is what I want to be. The jerk millionaire, but when people think about it in the end, I'm not that big of a jerk since all I'm doing is having some laughs as opposed to the millionares that swindle money out of people. And, for added insurance, I'll posed with soem decrepid kids and give them a sac of money so whenever someone complains about me, I shove the picture in their face.

One thing I am obssessed with doing when I'm rich is to just carry around at random times a briefcase full of money or to have a big bag of coints with a money sign on the outside. That is the kind of shit I want to do/say I've done. I want to take a bath in pudding just to see what it feels like. I want to pay two hobo's to fight, and then in the end, just give them a thousand dollars extra (and then secretly watch them waste it away on meth). The movie totally sucked and I can't believe I'm publically announcing that I've watched this, but I want to do what the guys in Rat Race did.

Anyway, today's millionaires suck.


No comments: