Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Columbian Devil's Breath

So my fear of Colombians has reached critical mass after watching this nine part documentary on the most feared drug in the world. According to the highly regarded words of Wikipedia, scopolamine, or the Colombian Devil's Breath,

"can be highly toxic and should be used in minute doses. As an example, in the treatment of motion sickness, the dose, gradually released from a transdermal patch, is only 0.33 milligram of scopolamine per day. An overdose can cause delirium, delusions, paralysis, stupor and death."

But a lot of drugs do this. What the documentary showed was that this drug, in it's proper and most widely used form, makes a person lose all their free will, and will go out and do whatever a person asks them and will have no recollection of doing so. Now to people who frequent my life, one would think this is an amazing drug and that me and my cronies would have tons of fun with this. Imagine me slipping this into Wiskey's freshly brewed Hot Tatty and convince him to do hysterical things (the thought of doing this to him excites me so much that I can't even think of a hilarious scenario that I can put down on paper). Hell he usually does without the use of this drug and just a few decades worth of beer, but with this one, the limit is endless.

But what the drug is used for is to steal, plunder, pillage and rape. Now, again, if you know me, I'm down for the first three (the last, not so much). Stealing, plundering and pillaging is what my ancestors did, assuming I was from Viking decent, which I often do when I'm drunk. Actually, Vikings raped, but not my ancestors. They could get it without using violence or force. Cause they were pimp Vikings. Yeaaaaa.

Anyway, the thought of this drug not only existing, but being part of history scares me too. In the 60's, they used it as a sort of truth syrum to beat the communism out of people, but the problem is that it served as a hallucinogenic and actually caused more harm than it did good because, since the people administering the drug didn't really think of it as a hallucinogenic, they took every word as truth, therefore creating more of scare. Fucking communists.

But I am veering from the what I was trying to accomplish with this post. It is my extreme fear of Colombians. Not only are the males of this obviously dominant race cause fear in me cause they can so whimsically cause you to think you are their friend and then, in a cocaine induce rage, beat you to death with the blunt side of their rifle, but the women are so out of this world beautiful, the mere shake of the bottom half of their torso can act as a drug, making you drool all abouts your most likely sweaty shirt. And they are damn good temptresses too. They can make a 400 pound racist tantalised and will allow him to think he has a great shot of making sweet sweet love with her. Which he does not.

My conclusion: They don't fucking need this drug, yet the have the most of it in the world. Maybe they know this. Maybe that is why I'm just finding out about it and it's not running wild in the US and Germany. Maybe they have full knowledge of what it can do and they just use it on people who are out of line. Or maybe it is just unethical because it's the easy man's way out, a welfare of tantalization if I may.

I'm not really sure, and I think more research needs to be taken into account. But I looked this stuff on two websites, more than I ever have for any paper I've written in college. So I am done.

And so with this, I amend my previous post about the top five things I am afraid of, and the list now goes like this:

5. Pooing My Pants In Public
4. Drowning
3. Receiving Butt Sex/Giving BJ's
2. Colombians
1. Face Paint

Yes, I have changed a few of them around, but with further review, this is the right order.


ZoeyBella said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ZoeyBella said...

So if the Joker tried to anally rape you while speaking with a thick Columbia accent, while forcing your head underwater, all of which would force you to crap your pants... you'd pretty much just freak out? :P

Have a great new year!


PS: I had some time to rethink my hypothetical situation - and this one is quite frightening. ;)

Serg said...

I read about this drug in Colombia, it is quite scary and I think of course it is not only been use in Colombia, like buy viagra you can get it anywhere.